I've been gone too long. Ideas have been flooding my mind but I haven't written then down. It's had an extremely negative effect on me. I'm this bottle of anger and anxiety and I want it to go away. Here's my first attempt at purging.
"KILL HIM"- are you out of your fucking mind!?? Honestly I am appauled that the entire republcian rally wasn't shut the fuck down just to weed that dispicable mother fucker out. Palin stood on her podiem basking in the hate, and all McCain had to say at the most recent bebate was how unfair Obama had been to him?????? "KILL HIM"- God those words won't get out of my head. This is the power of video. It's so intense, to actually witness the moment happening and so much more effective then any newspaper article could be. Were this rally event simply discribed in an article I couldn't have FELT the comment the way I did. It had an EMOTIOLAL impact on me, not just an intellectual one. CNN really had the most wonderful idea with these video bites. It's LIVE reporting. Reporting that isn't reporting so much as sharing what's going on at any given moment. It reminded me of what I read in Beckett chapter 2 and his entire "Network process", how the public is never not a part of this process. The news becomes so much more ALIVE that way. There's no static and solidity because everything keeps moving. I have this feeling that if I'd read about this event in an article, there would have been barely any effect. Of course I there is a slight worry that perhaps these emotional reactions are a little dangerous and getting wrapped up in news events might be unhealthy. Perhaps a little distance is necessary in order to not want to KILL somebody back! Really it sucked me in to the extreme and I wonder if it's such a positive thing. It's definately an effective form a media, but maybe TOO effective, do you know what I mean? Honestly I wanted to rip McCain's throat out! That's not the healthiest thing to feel. Coming full circle however, I felt such trememdous amounts of respect for PRESIDENT Obama, because he didn't let himself get wrapped up in the ciaous. He remained calm and also open to all of McCain statements, even while his political alignements were questioned in the wake of having his life threatened. This is steadiness to almost perturbing extent, which I think is many people's problem with Obama. They think he's just TOO cool and plays it safe all the time, by choosing to take the high road instead of getting down and dirty. I don't think Obama take's the safe road however. Is it safe to sit face to face with someone who doesn't really care that one of his supporters wants you dead? Is it safe to remain opened to all his opposing thoughts and ideas, even when instinct would tell you to take him down in defense of yourself? Obama was obviously upset personally by all McCain's campaign has said about him, but he puts his personal interests aside. That's almost selflessness, and in a politician, that's probably never going to happen again. AOL absolutely stunned me therefore, when after the debate they maid announcements stating McCain had won the debate because of his attacks on Obama which they defined as "McCain declaring his independence". Why do they keep on watering down McCain's actions and playing up all of Obama's imperfections? In my opinion it's desperation dressed up. What makes me sad is that some voters are falling for it, just cause they really want a good fight. That's all some people want. I realized that after the debate last night. What the candidates are saying is none consequential. Frigtening actually.