Pit of my stomach

There's a glob of emotional sewage growing ever larger in my stomach. Honestly sometimes I find it difficult to eat. I've suspected wrong doing ever since the Obama/Clinton race for the democratic nomination for presidential candidate and it's getting worse not better. Intrusive and heavier everyday I log onto AOL.com, this emotional infestation is hunching my shoulders and greying my hair along with ruining my appetite.
In 2002 I got a job working at the Norwalk Hour Newspaper in Norwalk, CT. It serves the Lower Fairfield County area. They offered email addresses through a little known browser named Netscape, and ever since then, I've logged on every single day, at least once a day to gather and send emails. Not long ago Netscape was over taken by AOL, which in itself became a free service, much to the joy of all my friends parents who had been paying for it for so long. The look of my email page changed, it didn't work as well, but every important contact I had was familiar with my netscape email address, so I continued to use it faithfully. Perhaps it was AOL's advanced talent with web design, a more clever and interesting appearance then netscape, or their relentless placement of featured news announcements on the log in screen to my email account, but I began to read the news every day. Come election time, I was so addicted to what was going on I'd log into AOL to read the news alone, forgetting about my email. I'd never really done this before. Honestly it was a phenomenon. I'd been proud and blissful being an uninformed artist, soully existing in her imagination and shunning the out side world (?????). A pretty excuse for denial I realize, but that's discussion for another blog.
Being artistic is a blessing. You're always content in your own world, your mind occupies itself with fancy, there's always a place to go without leaving the confines of your own room. This makes brain washing pretty damn impossible. So, even though I was reading AOL's news every day, certain features started to pop their ugly mugs out at me. For example, Every time I read about Hillary Clinton, there was a negative and damning headline accompanied by a series of 500 photographs from the most recent speech/rally or convention that where 500 times more unflattering. She's not a gorgeous woman, but lighting can do wonders, and professional photographers know that. They weren't unflattering by accident. The headlines of these articles would always read "Clinton comes off as racist" or "Hillary Not Well received", with some half quote attached to it. Slightly more discriminating then most, I read the entire article. Within the article of course the facts were relayed and the quote completed, the headline featured issues were put into context (at least slightly so) and quickly became malignant in comparison to their advertised previews. As I flipped through the photos I realized almost every photo was taken from a down ward angle, with Hillary's face in a grimace and eye brows furrowed. A few here and there showed her with her daughter Chelsea in an embrace or encouraging glance exchange, but to get to those you'd have to be willing to stick through the first 250 that had presented her poorly. What materialized from this was the realization that most people are not as obsessive as I am. They won't read the whole article or flip through all 500 photos. They're content with the headlines, or first paragraph and won't bother to look beyond the first 10 photos. These AOL reporters were getting away with back door reporting. Yeah they reported the truth, after you dug through two pages of twisted quotations and 250 paparazzi prize photos. It was horrid.
Mean while EVERY photo of Obama made him look like a prince. Really, the big smile, the camera angle looking up at his glowing smile, with the sunlight behind him. Like some sun God or modern Messiah. Now I like Obama. I have no problem telling you that not only will he be getting my vote for president in November, but I've donated to his campaign twice. I believe in his views and I'm down right inspired by his style of leadership. But poor Hillary! The "angle" of the democratic presidential campaign on the AOL sight was painfully clear, and really sickening. I like Hillary Clinton too. Honestly, I was rooting for her for the presidential nomination; I thought Obama would have been a brilliant VP. What made me happy about the democratic situation was that in the end, I believed in both candidates, and knew I'd be happy to support either. But these AOL folks, they were vicious. Hillary was Satan and Obama was a saint. It was fuckin' sick! How the hell could they call themselves reporters when they were campaigning for their personal choices through their articles. It pissed me off, and as I read the message boards located directly under the daily articles, it was igniting the same response in the other's who, like me, had taken the time to pick through the details.
Now here's the rub, the place where things really start to churn and thud around in my tender tummie. Fast forward to current articles on the AOL page, and they're now using the same negative camera angles and chopped quote headlines toward Obama, and the sympathetic headlines and flattering camera angles for Sarah Palin. EEEEWWWWWW. The back stabbery is ohhh sooo Shakespearean. It's slice, tear and rip can be felt all throughout cyberdom. How terribly uncreative to work at picking the candidate for the democratic ticket, build him a pedestal so high no eye could see any other but him, just to be able to control, or think you could control the detonation of that pedestal when the time was ripe. Who the hell owns AOL? And where's the picture of them and Cindy and John at the Hensley and Co. 2007 Christmas party??? Somebody tell me please! And now, for the poison that set me over the edge today, take a look please at the new AOL celebrity feature "Houses of the Stars". Click through three pictures of "This is where Anthony Hopkins spends time with his wife", with no mention of past divorces and "This was Sean Penn's home with Robin Wright" with no mention of current marital trouble, and more of the like, to photo #4 of Obama's $1.7 million dollar home (Not much more expensive then what most of the lawyers around here live in) and then read the quote attached to it. Okay, Okay,...I'm happy to tell you:
"Concrete Barriers, steel barricades and "no parking" signs are what neighbors have to deal with Barack Obama living near by in his $1.65 million home." Hmmmm. Let's think what that's meant to do? If you're eyes have blinked you've had enough time to get this one. It's pretty damn obvious. And how sickening. Especially since McCain can't even remember how many homes he owns! Keep flipping and you'll see three more prominent political figures featured. Bloomberg, Republican mayor of New York City and his 45 million dollar brownstone (!!!!!!!) and Bill and Hillary Clinton and their 1.3 million dollar Dutch vacation home. You seeing a trend here? Cause this writer's definitely got a view point she's pushin on ya! Only I'm not calling myself a reporter am I? I'm not telling you these are the facts as they have presented themselves. I'm letting you know my interpretation of everything I've been observing, and you know it's my personal view point. Maybe you don't share my opinions, but at least you know that's what they are, and exactly where they came from. I'm not telling you this is what is fact and truth and please look no further! That's not reporting, it's campaigning, and that is NOT the job of the press.
We can't really trust these people can we? Where once, or ideally we're supposed to depend on them to reveal social truths others have no access to, we now have to rely on our Internet savvy to gather RAW information for ourselves. It's hard work though, and we really don't have that much time to do it, at least not without risking our jobs or college careers by spending inappropriate amounts of time browsing instead of working or paying attention to our teachers presentations. The press has a responsibility to us all. A duty of sorts, whether they have to be certified and sworn in like Doctors and Lawyers (though that ones a laugh) or not. We need reporters in our society, to dig out the truths for us, 'cause it's a full time job we just can't do in our spare time. Who has spare time anymore any way? AOL should hang there heads in shame for such an absolute abuse of all reporting is suppose to contribute to free thought and autonomy. What if Doctors just started operating on "What ever" once they had you under the knife, or Pilots just decided, "You know where I REALLY want to go this weekend" and took the turn there instead of where you'd paid to go? This crap is unethical, and I can't believe someone hasn't called them out and taken them down for indulging in it so regularly and decadently! I'm disheartened and disgusted, I really am.